


The Adventure of the Missing Tail

by BaronVonBork



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Winnie-the-Pooh - A. A. Milne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25201237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronVonBork/pseuds/BaronVonBork
Summary: Winnie-the-Pooh/Sherlock Holmes mash up.





	The Adventure of the Missing Tail

Sherlock the Pooh was sitting in our rooms one foggy winter morning, counting his pots of honeyed cocaine, while I perused some notes of our former cases. I was still trying to make sense of the whole question of the Kanga Company and the colossal schemes of Baron Roo when our Companionable Silence was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door.  
"Thirteen, come in Eeyore, thirteen" he said.  
"Extraordinary!" I cried, as Eeyore glumped into our rooms. "How did you know it was Eeyore?"  
"Thirteen, Emelentary! I saw him through the window through the fog, thirteen."  
"Why do you keep saying thirteen, Sherlock Bear?"  
"Do I thirteen? I suppose I do thirteen. I think it was because I was counting pots. Or steps. Or both. Or neither. The Point is (if I know what the Point is and I usually do because I am a bear of Very Much Brain) the Point is that there are thirteen of the things."  
"Astounding!"  
"Emblementally!"  
  
"Aherm!" coughed Eeyore somewhat unconvincingly.  
"Sorry, Eeyore. I had forgotten you were there." said Sherlock the Pooh, apologetically.  
"I suppose, I am that sort of donkey." said Eeyore "Even a bear of Very Much Brain such as the great Sherlock the Pooh cannot be expected to remember that a donkey such as Eeyore is here. Or indeed there. Not that that is here or there. Although I AM here. Most of me..."  
I could tell by the way he was singing to himself and had left the room that Pooh was beginning to grow bored of this Aimless Monologue so I interrupted.  
"What can we do for you, Eeyore?"  
"Do for me? I don't think you could do anything for me, Dr Piglet. It's not a doing for me sort of a day. If anything, it's a doing against me sort of a day. And, besides, for a Bear of Very Much Brain such as Pooh, I must be quite the bore. No doubt he knows all about my Problem and wishes I would take it away with myself included."  
It was then that Pooh re-entered the sitting room with a fresh Little Something to snack upon.  
"I assure you, Eeyore, that besides the fact that you are Miserable, Gloomy and have lost your tail, I know nothing about your problem whatsoever."  
Eeyore's drooping eyes momentarily flashed open and he turned to stare at the only Consulting Bear in the Woods.  
"How on Earth did you know all that?"  
"Endlegentry. I knew that you were Miserable and Gloomy because you are Eeyore and if there is one thing that Eeyore always is it is Miserable and Gloomy. I knew that you had lost your tail because your tail is not where your tail should be and there is only one reason for your tail to not be where your tail should be and that is because it is lost."  
"I thought you had done something clever." said Eeyore "but I see now it was nothing at all. The question, though, is can you find it, Pooh?"  
"I will call for you tomorrow morning in time for A Little Something. I believe I will be able to present a solution then."  
I saw Eeyore out of our rooms before enquiring of Sherlock the Pooh what his plan was.  
"It is quite the Three-Pot-Problem" Pooh announced grandly. "I pray that you will not bother me for a half hour."  
  
Scarcely one-hundred-and-eighty minutes later, as I began to drowse, my reverie was shaken by a cry from Pooh.  
"Johnson!" he ejaculated.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"Owl Johnson!" he ejaculated with an air, if not an actuality, of elucidation.  
"Who?"  
"Owl Johnson is an underworld contact of mine. He was once a dangerous villain, responsible for the disappearance of many of Rabbit's friends-and-relations. Finally, he relented and allied himself with me. He is often a very useful informant in cases such as this. We will pay him a visit. If we are quick we may be just in time for a Little Something."  
  
And so, after a little smackerel of something, we stepped out into the Hundred Acre Woods; that great cess-pool into which all the Tiggers and Heffalumps of the bedroom are inevitably drained.  
  
A brisk stroll later, we came to a disreputable old tree which Pooh told me was the residence of his nefarious colleague; Owl. A sign above the door proclaimed it "The Chestnuts". On the door was a knocker. Beside the door was a bell-pull. Unsure of how to proceed, Sherlock the Pooh pulled the knocker and knocked the bell-pull. Following this he pulled the bell-pull and knocked the knocker. Following this the door was opened and Owl stood imposingly before us.  
"Hallo Pooh." said Owl "How are things?"  
Pooh, however was lost in one of his Moods, staring blankly at the bell-pull, so I took it upon myself to introduce myself, explain the Problem At Hand and enquire as to whether we were in time for a Little Something.  
Owl and I were on our second Little Something and Pooh on his third Large Something before Pooh finally spoke.  
"I don't remember you having a bell-pull, Owl. I don't even remember you having a bell."  
"I don't have a bell. But I do have a bell-pull now, which is A Start." Owl explained.  
"Where did you get it?"  
"I found it. It was lying on a bush in the Woods. I spied it when I was VISITING some of Rabbit's friends-and-relations and they hid beneath the bush. But when I pulled the bell-pull, no one answered. As no one wanted it, I took it for my door."  
"Owl," said Pooh solemnly, "you made a mistake. Somebody did want it."  
"Who?"  
"Eeyore. It is his tail."  
"Amazing!" I cried.  
"Eggymeddlemany!" he replied.  
  
Once Christopher Robin had nailed Eeyore's tail back in the right area, Eeyore began to look happier than we had ever seen him.  
"How can I ever thank you, Pooh?" he asked, with tears forming in his eyes.  
"By paying your bill promptly." came the detective's reply as he passed the donkey an expensive looking envelope.


End file.
